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THE MARVELMOBILE!

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  🎪 STEP RIGHT UP! STEP RIGHT UP! 🎪 Gather 'round, ladies, gentlemen, scholars, skeptics, farmers, machinists, chicken thieves, and all others with ready cash and questionable judgment! Presenting for your astonishment and transportation needs: THE MARVELMOBILE! "Half Mechanical Miracle, Half Traveling Spectacle, and Entirely Ahead of Its Time!" Brought to you exclusively by the illustrious, inexplicable, and occasionally combustible genius known as Doctor Marvel! Now you may be asking: "Doctor Marvel, what exactly is a Marvelmobile?" My good citizen, that is precisely the wrong question! The proper question is: "What ISN'T a Marvelmobile?" Observe! A motorcar, yes! A circus wagon, undoubtedly! A mobile laboratory, certainly! A rolling monument to scientific audacity, absolutely! A probable violation of several municipal ordinances! WITHOUT QUESTION! Ladies and gentlemen, beneath this gleaming exterior of polished brass, enchanted optimism, and ...
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DOCTOR MARVEL AND THE ORDER OF THE UNBLINKING EYE

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A most illuminating history of a most unenlightened brotherhood, as related by Doctor Marvel, Professor of Unnatural Philosophy, Adept of the Lesser Mysteries, and Unindicted Practitioner of the Higher Arts. Ladies, gentlemen, and those among you who have not yet made up your minds which category best describes you—draw near! I am about to relate a tale of secret societies, supernatural grievances, and the sort of bookkeeping that can sour a man's relationship with eternity! The Order of the Unblinking Eye, a secret society so secret even they don't know what they're doing half the time. The Order of the Unblinking Eye! Ah! The very name sends a shiver down the spine, does it not? It ought to. They have spent nearly seven centuries perfecting that particular shiver, and I should know, having been on the receiving end of several. The Order was founded, according to its own records, in the year 1349 by a disgruntled Byzantine astrologer named Gregorius the Watchful, who claim...
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  STEP RIGHT UP, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! STEP RIGHT UP! Gather close, gather near! Lend me your ears, your eyes, and if possible, your suspension of disbelief! For tonight, beneath this magnificent canopy of canvas and dreams, I shall reveal a tale so astonishing, so electrifying, so positively preposterous that respectable society has spent the better part of a lifetime pretending it never happened! I speak, of course, of the humble beginnings of the one, the only, the inimitable DOCTOR MARVEL! Now, I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, my friends. No! I was born in a small town, of modest means, where the streetlamps sputtered, the gaslights flickered, and the greatest scientific achievement was convincing the town constable that the teacher lady at the old schoolhouse was not ushering in Darwinism! But even then, even in those tender years, I knew there was something more to this world than dirt roads, dull minds, and the same old sunrise every blessed morning. I looked ...
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Doctor Marvel's Patented Can O' Reality!

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  Step right up, ladies, gentlemen, farmers, philosophers, traveling salesmen, and folks who ain't been entirely convinced this week is happenin' in the proper order! Gather 'round and lend me your ears, your attention, and if possible, your suspension of disbelief! I am Doctor Marvel , some say a Fringe scientist! Some say Sideshow magician! I do admit to being an occasional temporal tourist! A traveler of time, journeying all the way from the 20th century and what a long strange trip it's been! Now, many of you are lookin' at this humble tin and askin': "Doctor Marvel, what in thunderation is that?" Friends, this... ...is the patented Doctor Marvel CAN O' REALITY! Yes sir! Reality! Canned fresh at the source! Now hold on, I can hear the skeptics already. "Doctor Marvel, why would a body want to can reality when reality's already everywhere?" Well, that's a reasonable question. That would be like bottlin' water while standin...
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